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Topic: joke (Read 2214 times)
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Red Student
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joke
« on: December 07, 2004, 09:21:02 AM » |
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A Monk, a Jesuit and a Libertarian enter a bar:
Monk: ‘Barman, the usual please.’
Barman: ‘one dogma on the rocks with lots of ritualism on the side, enjoy sir.’
The Monk gives the barman a fifty-dollar bill
Monk: ‘In the name of the Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost blessed are thou. Keep the change’
The barman turns to the Jesuit priest
Jesuit: ‘For me…’
Barman: ‘Three parts science, one part dogma and two parts indoctrination; right sir?’
Jesuit: ‘Exactly.’
The barman makes the cocktail and serves it
Barman: ‘Here you go sir, enjoy.’
The Jesuit gives the barman a twenty-dollar bill
Jesuit: ‘God bless your soul. Keep the change’
The barman turns to the Libertarian
Libertarian: ‘What can you offer me, Barman?’
Barman: ‘How about Capitalism, sir?’
Libertarian: ‘What’s in it?’
Barman: ‘Two parts exploitation, two parts repression, one part commercialism, a shot of alienation and a zest of dogma.’
Libertarian: ‘hmm…what else?’
Barman: ‘Fascism: That’s three parts exploitation, three parts repression, one part militarism and a shot of dehumanisation with extreme nationalism on the side.’
Libertarian: ‘hmm…ahh…’
Barman: ‘Military Dictatorship?’
Libertarian: ‘…’
Barman: ‘Emerging Markets?’
Libertarian: ‘…’
Barman: ‘Declining Empire?’
Libertarian: ‘what’s that?’
Barman: ‘Three parts exploitation, one part false patriotism, one part alienation, a shot of arrogance mixed with crushed propaganda and served with militarism on the side.’
Libertarian: ‘Can I have that with dogma in it?’
Barman: ‘Of course sir.’
The barman makes the cocktail and serves it
Barman: ‘Here you go sir’
The libertarian gives the barman a twenty-dollar bill.
Libertarian: ‘Thanks.’
Barman: ‘You welcome sir.’
Libertarian: ‘Can I have the change back…ahh…I got to pay the
parking meter.’
Barman: ‘No problem, sir. Tipping is optional.’
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"There is no royal road to science, and only those who do not dread the fatiguing climb of its steep paths have a chance of gaining its luminous summits." -- Marx |
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petrel
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joke
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2004, 11:42:44 AM » |
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Outside the US, I think, this joke will be lost, as in most countries there is no Right "Libertarian" Party of any size; and many people will have associations with "Libertarian socialism" (=more or less anarchism)
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Red Student
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joke
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2004, 05:44:35 AM » |
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There are Libertarians in Europe, but you could also substitue Liberal and it would still work (except for the punchline, which doesn't work anyway ;) ).
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"There is no royal road to science, and only those who do not dread the fatiguing climb of its steep paths have a chance of gaining its luminous summits." -- Marx |
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Red Student
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joke
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2004, 05:47:29 AM » |
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"There is no royal road to science, and only those who do not dread the fatiguing climb of its steep paths have a chance of gaining its luminous summits." -- Marx |
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Che
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joke
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2004, 07:41:34 AM » |
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Libertarians (in the US) are insane. Absolutely insane. I can't stand them. I got into a long argument with them, and they kept saying they couldn't support socialism because they couldn't turn into a butterfly, or something. It was very odd.
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Tigre
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joke
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2004, 02:06:03 PM » |
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Ok well now im intrigued. Are Libertarians, the Liberal party of Canada in the US? Becasue they seem to gather the most support in the Far northern states?
The liberal party of Canada are just the exact centre of the political spectrum, but get shifted left (Jean Chretien) and Right (Paul martin) depending on the leader.
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Life is evolutionary. God is divinity. Communism exists in God's light.
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DanP
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joke
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2004, 06:59:14 PM » |
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I have no idea what you are talking about.
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P.O.U.M
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joke
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2004, 09:39:53 PM » |
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Libertarian Party (United States) They are rather odd folks. What is surprisng to, there are a good size amount of republicans I have run into saying they would rather vote Libetarian rather than Republican. Just the Libertarians dont have a strong enough base yet. And vice versa with the Democrats and the Green Party. I just find it really annoying that these dipshits dont take some iniative. If they did, maybe we could have broke the two party system, which could open the way for a new working class party.
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fire_mat99
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joke
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2005, 03:09:33 AM » |
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Ok well now im intrigued. Are Libertarians, the Liberal party of Canada in the US? Becasue they seem to gather the most support in the Far northern states? Yes and Ontario Just the Libertarians dont have a strong enough base yet You talking about US Thay never will because the US is fasism views . Like Kruchev was anti-Marxist and anti-Communist same has the US has .. -------------- Communist group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Communist-Party2/
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« Last Edit: March 27, 2005, 09:28:55 PM by 587 »
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nationalism thinks proud loyalty and devotion to a nation but nationalize is better becuse the business is to state ownership for equity and fairness rather than market principles.
Well I hate the Britch imperial system has I hate apples
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fire_mat99
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joke
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2005, 09:30:46 PM » |
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The liberal party of Canada are just the exact centre of the political spectrum, but get shifted left (Jean Chretien) and Right (Paul martin) depending on the leader. What Jean Chretien was more left than Paul martin, What Paul martin saying no to star wars or war and wants the gay rights thing :o -------------- Communist group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Communist-Party2/ |
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nationalism thinks proud loyalty and devotion to a nation but nationalize is better becuse the business is to state ownership for equity and fairness rather than market principles.
Well I hate the Britch imperial system has I hate apples
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jhon
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Re: joke
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2010, 03:11:37 AM » |
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Hello all of you ,
Here i am sharing a joke
Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry: A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology: A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology: A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics: A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics: A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.
Prof. of Philosophy: A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of English: A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.
Prof. of Engineering: Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.
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DanielW
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Re: joke
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2011, 06:42:51 AM » |
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The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” “I do.”
“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
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DanielW
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Re: joke
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2011, 05:23:36 AM » |
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...another one
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
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